Distance
by BlueNoise
Summary: And I will make sure to keep my distance. Say "I love you" when you're not listening. Sydney/Adrian. Inspired by Christina Perri's song Distance. Post The Golden Lily.
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: Distance

**Summary**: And I will make sure to keep my distance. Say "I love you" when you're not listening. Sydney/Adrian. Inspired by Christina Perri's song _Distance._

**Disclaimer**: I don't own the characters or the song. Duh!

**Part:** 1 of 5

**A/N**: So I decided to show anyone and everyone I'm still alive. I'm sorry I haven't posted an update of _DreamScape_ since like October. My life has been crazy. Nanowrimo. Thanks Giving. Christmas. University starting. Now that _Ever After_ is out I'm hoping it will inspire me (or make me mad about the lack of Ravy) and finally finish DreamScape. I'm hoping to get the book by next weekend (when I'll also have time to read it.)

Not usually a fan of song fics. This one isn't really one either so bare with me.

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**-One-**

_The sun is filling up the room and I can hear you dreaming_

_Do you feel the way I do, right now?_

_I wish we would just give up_

_'Cause the best part is falling, call it anything but love_

He had decided to try to let her go.

Again.

It was not because she had walked out on him after that kiss. No, he had been surprised she had even let him kiss her. Let him get that close.

He was going to try to let her go because it was what she wanted. He knew she cared about him, more than was safe, more than she cared to admit even to herself. But when it came right down to it she was an Alchemist and that seemed to take presidents over everything else.

Perhaps it always would.

So he was doing the smart thing and trying to push her from his mind. And one of the few ways he knew how to do that was booze. He felt bad about it though, knowing Jill was going to feel it. _A_ _man couldn't even drink without worrying these days…_

He took a swing of whatever alcohol was in the bottle and closed his eyes. Bad idea. All he could see was Sydney's beautiful golden eyes. _Perhaps_, he thought, he should paint them. Paint her. Yes.

That might not be the right thing to do if he was trying to move on. But he'd always sucked at moving on and doing the right thing. Upon reflecting some more on it he decided he was too drunk to paint and without any of the sunlight falling through the window he would have a hard time seeing her before him. Unless he closed his eyes. But that wouldn't be very good for painting.

As he blinked he felt strangely sleepy. It was dark out, the middle of the night. With the being-a-wake-during-the-day thing they were all doing while in Palm Springs he had a right to be tired, he supposed. Sleeping made him think of dreams, and that gave him an idea. He grinned and put the bottle down knowing he'd have to sober up some before attempting it.

As Adrian slowly became less drunk he also became more aware that his plan was a stupid one. He really was a fool for even thinking it up. Maybe it was spirit whispering to him. Or maybe it was just him.

He should just go to bed. Take an aspirin and drink a gallon of water.

Only he had never been good at doing the smart thing. At doing what his brain told him.

Smiling to himself he closed his eyes and let himself slide into a spirit dream.

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Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N**: So last week my computer started to make this sound like _"tick,tick,tick_" and I was like "_it's gonna BLOW_" and hurriedly turned it over to my cousin who is a computer genius. Sometimes. As it turns out it was just something with the fan. But he wasn't kind enough to tell me this and instead held on to my computer for a week. More quick updates will come soon. Hopefully they will be better than this chapter, which I think is kind of lacking something. I just can't put my finger on what.

Also haven't gotten around to reading _Ever After_ – I mean I did start it but there was no Ivy – so maybe I'll get to _DreamScape_ next week? I'm a professional postponer (if there is such a thing) and it might be longer with all this reading I have to do for university. I did not know it was going to be this hard to do it full time. And this boring. Can't wait to pick my major -that'll hopefully make it more fun.

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**-Two-**

_And I will make sure to keep my distance_

_Say "I love you" when you're not listening_

_And how long can we keep this up, up, up?_

* * *

Adrian liked to think he knew how spirit worked, but sometimes he reluctantly had to admit he was as clueless as everyone else. Which was why it wasn't that surprising when he found himself in a dark closet rather than the beach he had imagined.

Wondering if he was still too drunk to make spirit work for him he called for the person he had been trying to find. "Sage?" He began looking for a door. "Sage what am I doing in a god damned closet?"

"Adrian?" Sydney's voice said from his left, clearly on the other side of the closet's door. Adrian barely had time to throw up an arm to shield his eyes from the bright sun now flowing into the closet.

"Yes. Why is it so sunny in here?" he asked as he walked out of the closet. The bedroom he entered was brightly lit, making it all the more obvious how boring it was. It was like one of those model homes they used to show people how their house _could_ look without all the things that made it a home- even the family picture on the desk looked somewhat fake. It took Adrian a moment to realize this was probably Sage's bedroom back home. How he had managed to end up in it he wasn't sure.

"What are you doing in here?" Sydney asked as she looked nervously at the door. "You're not supposed to be here."

"Really? Where am I supposed to be then?"Adrian muttered. Thankfully, just then dark clouds started to appear in the sky, turning the bright day outside into a frightful storm, casting the room in shadow. "That's better." At least he thought the darkness was better until he looked at Sydney. She had gone as white as a sheet.

"Adrian you have to go, hide," her voice was fanatic and not because she had figured out this was a spirit dream. Only Adrian wasn't so sure it was. Because this was not what he had imagined. Not where he had imagined taking her. If they were going to be in a bedroom it sure as heck would have had a bigger bed.

Sydney grabbed his arm, as if to drag him back to the closet. "If they find you here…" Her eyes flew towards the door and the sounds of footsteps coming towards it. They were partly drowned out by the rain smattering against the roof and windows and a wind howling unnaturally loud."…Adrian if they find you here I don't know what they'll-"

The door was thrown open.

There were three men and one woman, all with lily tattoos on their cheeks. They all wore a blank but still somehow angry expression that freaked Adrian out. He had seen Sydney try to put on the mask of emotionless Alchemist. She had never been all that successful. These people were.

"Father," Sydney managed to say, despite her clear distress, "it's not-"

"Take her," the man in the front, apparently Sydney's father, ordered. Sydney looked like she wanted to run, but there was nowhere _to_ run. Sydney's father's eyes turn to Adrian but he was clearly talking to the men next to him."And deal with the creature."

Adrian just then realized where he was. He was in a nightmare. One of Sage's nightmares.

As one of the men got a gun out, Adrian decided he no longer wanted to stay in this place or this dream. Not in the least bit.

"Sage," he said grabbing hold of her shoulders. "Listen to me, relax and let me take you out of here."

Sydney looked like she was about as likely to relax as she was to let him drink her blood, but Adrian focused. Closed his eyes and focused hard on where he wanted to go, where he wanted spirit to take them in this dream.

And suddenly there was no longer the sound of the wind or rain but instead a car honked and the sound of wheels on asphalt rushed over him. Blinking he was thankful to see Sydney in the driver seat of his car. The one he had bought for her. They were on an open highway. They were safe, no Alchemists coming for her.

For a moment she looked so lovely in the sun light, sun light that didn't bother him in the least, her skin so smooth and perfect, golden eyes and blonde hair shining in the sun.

It wasn't just that she was so nice looking though; no it was Sydney Sage, the person that made Adrian want things he shouldn't, couldn't ever have. It was the way she believed in him and somehow made him want to be better for himself not for her that made him whish.

Whish for a house she had designed, one with a beautiful backyard with a pool just like the one they had visited that afternoon not so long ago. Whish for them to live there, to be happy there. To be a family, to have a beautiful child, one with Sydney's golden eyes and maybe a dog. A white picket fence. No vampire stuff. No Alchemist stuff. Yeah. He wanted that more than he had ever wanted anything.

"Adrian." Her voice was a little shaky. "This is a spirit dream, isn't it?"

"Yeah," he said, suddenly really wishing for a cigarette. "Sorry and all. But it appears I've saved you from a rather nasty nightmare."

Her eyes turn from the road."Adrian I don't like this, I mean I love this car but not enough-"

"Yeah, yeah," he said. "Vampire magic; scary." But at least she wasn't freaking out as bad as she had that first time he'd tried. She actually seemed fairly calm. "I came here because I wanted to talk to you."

"Adrian." Her voice was a warning and her eyes turned back to the road.

"Come on Sage, I know you don't pick me, but I know you-"

"Adrian please leave me alone. I don't want you. Okay? _I can't do this_." The last part was clearly more to herself than him. The car's speed increased enough to make Adrian's stomach do a flip. He knew it was a dream and even if the car crashed they'd both be fine. At least he hoped so, ending up in Sage's nightmare had not been part of the plan.

"You can be a right bitch sometimes, you know that?" he asked much more cheerful than he felt.

She ignored him and pressed her foot on the gas pedal. Adrian decided the car was a distraction and decided they needed to go someplace else. And a second later they weren't in the car anymore.

It took him a moment to realize where they were. It was the backyard they had visited, view and waterfall included. Only he had attached the backyard to the house he had imagined in that fleeting fantasy Sydney would design for them.

"Adrian I don't want to talk, I think I made my point," she said, before looking around. She frowned, losing a bit of her irritation. "I don't remember the house looking like this."

Adrian felt himself go cold as a golden retriever came running from the other side of the house. It barked, then stopped in front of them, laying down a Frisbee at their feet.

"Really? A dog Adrian?" Sydney said as she sat down on her haunches to pet the drooling beast. But Adrian's attention wasn't on the dog.

It was on the little blonde girl rounding the corner the dog had come from. A child he had imagined even so briefly in the car a few moments ago. A child with Sydney's eyes and his mouth.

Sydney seemly confused for a moment followed his gaze, he heard more than saw when she realized who the child was. A little sigh, a deep breath caught. He could almost imagine her putting her hand over her mouth to stop herself from making any more noise.

Earlier Adrian might have rescued Sydney from her nightmare but now he felt like he had just fallen into one of his own. A dream to impossible to be true. Yet. He was in it. Like a starving child without one cent trapped in a candy store. So close to it yet impossibly far. It was the strangest most horrible feeling he had ever felt.

The child stopped and smiled up at them. Sydney stood; the dog forgotten. It was suddenly clear to him this dream had been a big mistake. It was not a spirit dream. He was not able to properly control it. If he had been, this child, this beautiful little girl, wouldn't have been in it. Maybe it was him still being drunk. Maybe it was Sage. Maybe it was the magic she didn't want to have but clearly possessed, messing things up?

"Ma," the child said. "I found a pretty flower." In a little fist the girl held out a large golden lily. Sydney didn't take it.

He had no idea what she was feeling; he barely had room for his own feelings.

"No," was all she said. "No. Adrian. No."

The dream shattered and gasping for air Adrian woke up, feeling more lost than ever before.

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Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N**: (LOL I thought I posted this months ago. I even wrote the A/N and everything. Sorry. I've got most of the rest of the story finished too. I feel kind of bad because I'd really meant to post it all long ago!)

(Several months old A/N) So anyone else ready to pull their hair out from reading the ending of _The Indigo Spell_? I was like "yay they're finally together" then "Nooo Zoe? WTF?" but it's all good fun. Can't be happy until everything has gone to hell a few times, right?

_The Fiery Heart_ will be out in November and from what I've heard it will be split between Sage and Adrian's POV. Very exciting stuff even if part of Adrian's allure (to me at least) is the fact that I have no clue what he's thinking. I'm also guessing Sydney will end up in Re-Education and Adrian will bust her out, hence the need for dual POV. Plus lots of other things to be sure! Right now I'm too excited about the next Mercy Thompson book coming out in a week to be depressed about how long it's until November.

On another note – just read _Beautiful Creatures,_ the one they just made a movie from. It's kind of Twilight with witches told from a boy's POV. While I enjoyed it fine it wasn't anything new and I could probably have lived without it. Hoping the movie will be more of an experiences and I will be watching it once it get released on DVD.

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**-Three-**

_Please don't stand so close to me, I'm having trouble breathing_

_I'm afraid of what you'll see, right now_

_I'll give you everything I am_

_All my broken heartbeats until I know you'll understand_

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Sydney wasn't having a good day. Jill wasn't talking to her. Angelina had participated in a food fight at lunch and gotten a whole bunch of detentions. All this plus the fact that Sydney's coffee maker was on the fritz. And she needed her coffee since she had woken up three hours too early- courtesy of Adrian - and been afraid to go back to sleep.

Afraid she would be back in the spirit dream. The dream that was too cruel, too real and too impossible.

So to say she wasn't having a good day was an understatement. And she had had to deal with it all without coffee.

So by the time she knocked on Adrian's apartment door she was about ready to lose it. Not something that usually happened to Sydney Sage.

"Right on time," Adrian said dryly as he opened the door for her. For a moment she just stared at him, his green eyes, rumpled hair and unbelievably handsome face. "Waited for school to finish before coming to yell at me? How very predictable of you Sage."

He turned and walked into the living room.

"Adrian this thing between us, it can't, I mean," Sydney started as she walked into the living room after him, "it can't ever be. Can't ever work out. So you have to stop. Stay away."

"Ouch, getting right to it are we?" Adrian said, sounding a lot calmer than she had expected. She wasn't exactly sure what she had expected. For him to apologize to her? For him to yell?

"I told you-"

"Yeah you told me," he grumbled as he grabbed a paint brush. "I'm just not so sure this is the time to listen to that brain of yours; to your words." He said it in a lower voice, not as venomous as his earlier comments.

"Adrian, I, I'm sorry," she whispered, feeling more confused than ever. Being back in his apartment, seeing him, being so close to him yet so far away was making the fact that he was a vampire and she an alchemist and that just being here was really stupid - fly out the window.

She sat on the sofa as Adrian began to paint, his movements jerky. He was clearly agitated, she just couldn't understand what he had to be angry about. He wasn't the one whose mind had been violated. Whose whole world had been thrown around. Her face felt cold then hot as she remembered the dream.

She remembered how scared she'd been when her father had come for her, come for him. She hadn't been able to help either one of them. That impossible situation was where they were headed. So why would she let herself feel for him, why risk it?

It was doomed to fail.

Even if he wasn't a vampire and she not an alchemist it probably wouldn't have worked. She needed someone like Brayden, who was smart and liked to talk about things like renewable energy...only Brayden hadn't made her heart beat faster, hadn't made her body respond, his kisses had made her feel nothing. Unlike the kiss Adrian and she had shared, that kiss had been real.

"You want a soda?" Adrian said, snapping Sydney out of her musings. "I bought you some diet ones."

"Yeah," she said absentmindedly. Maybe some fake sugar would get her brain to start working again. Because she was actually thinking about the Kiss. Something she had promised herself not to.

The other day when she left after the kiss, she'd said to herself she wasn't going to think about even the possibility of a relationship with Adrian. Because frankly she was worried that if she began to the idea might over ride her logical thinking.

Adrian handed her a soda, then sat in the armchair across from her, studying her. It was a bit unnerving to be watched so closely and she squirmed as she opened her drink.

She imagined what it would be like if he sat next to her, if they were as close as they had been after the Halloween dance. Imagined him telling her she was the most beautiful creature in the world again. To kiss him again. Imagined what it would be like to have him, to be able to let go of the alchemist and vampire stuff and just give it a try. Just see if Adrian and she couldn't make each other…happy.

That horrible yet wonderful realization that if they had been just two ordinary people she'd have tried, made her realize she had been wrong to push him away. Even if they couldn't be together he deserved honesty.

"So I guess it was a lie," she said abruptly, feeling as if his stare was digging out all her deep dark secrets.

"Huh?" Adrian frowned, his green eyes becoming confused. "What was a lie?"

"I do want to try… this, us," she said quickly while looking at her soda can. "I mean, I want…well, you."

"I knew that already," he said, making her head snap up. He chuckled."I am very lovable. It would have been strange if you didn't fall for me."

She didn't find his attempt at lighting the mood at all amusing. "But don't you see Adrian?" She said. "It can't work!"

"We're back to that," he said, leaning back in the armchair.

"Don't you agree though? Don't you see? You wanting to be with me and me with you it goes against-"

"Everything. Yes." His eyes were grave. "But that isn't going to stop me."

She took a deep breath, not wanting to hear his words, not wanting to know how far he was willing to go. "But it won't lead to anything. If I was with you…and they found out. It wouldn't be good."

"True," he said slowly. "But I still want you."

She fiddled with her soda can, somehow sure she was blushing. She wanted to say something more to dissuade him but found she'd lost her voice. It was somehow strangely exciting to hear him say that. That he wanted her. That he wanted them, enough to break some very old vampire rules.

Only it wasn't right, because even if she wanted to be with him she couldn't. She should put a stop to it. But she couldn't make herself do it.

A few moments more passed before Adrian spoke again."So where does that leave us?"

Sydney had no idea.

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